Manifesto for Half-Arsed Agile Software Development

We have heard about new ways of developing software by paying consultants and reading Gartner reports. Through this we have been told to value:

Individuals and interactions over processes and toolsand we have mandatory processes and tools to control how those individuals (we prefer the term ‘resources’) interact

Working software over comprehensive documentationas long as that software is comprehensively documented

Customer collaboration over contract negotiationwithin the boundaries of strict contracts, of course, and subject to rigorous change control

Responding to change over following a planprovided a detailed plan is in place to respond to the change, and it is followed precisely

That is, while the items on the left sound nice in theory, we’re an enterprise company, and there’s no way we’re letting go of the items on the right.